Over the years I’ve done comedy everywhere from the House of Commons to a double-decker bus going round Sheffield.  But by far the strangest gig I’ve ever been offered was to open a Conservative Party event, essentially as a warm-up act for David Cameron.

In 2006, not long after Cameron became leader of the Conservative Party, I received an email inviting me to perform at a seminar on future policy around disability.  Basically they wanted me to do ten minutes of comedy and then pose for the press with Cam the man, presumably to make him look more “diverse”.

As if this prospect wasn’t tempting enough, they expected me to work for absolutely nothing.  They weren’t even prepared to pay my travel and access expenses.  Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes I’m prepared do pro bono work for like-minded organisations that share my beliefs and values.  However this does not include the bloody Conservative Party!

Anyway being the devious bastard that I am, I felt I couldn’t just leave it there.  So I emailed back my agent at the time, saying I’d still do it anyway as – and these were my exact words – it was “a golden opportunity to piss off the Tories.”  But just as I hit the ‘Send’ button, I felt a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  This was down to my sudden realisation that I’d accidentally selected ‘Reply to All’ and directly emailed Tory Party HQ too.  Needless to say, I got a swift response saying my services were no longer required.  I can’t for the life of me think why!

But nowadays, with the benefit of hindsight, this whole incident seems somewhat prophetic.  I could well have been one of the first guinea pigs for the Government’s current voluntary work scheme.  After all, both ideas seem to be based on that good, old-fashioned right-wing concept of slave labour!